After spending the autumn photographing the Swans of Franz Lake in a continuous three-month rain punctuated only by several snows and two moments of sunshine, my intuition led me to Los Angeles.
It wasn’t easy, in fact it was really stressful, but I had an unusually satisfying time of living inland in Los Angeles instead of at the beach. 20 minutes from anything sure did beat the attitude of the west side, which balks at going anywhere past the 405. Suddenly Los Angeles opened her heart to me, I was in love and able to enjoy the ride. Humming I love LA with a Randy Newman stance and head tilt I began to be a local after 8 years of feeling the pain of grounding here without any of the perks.
The lump in my breast however continued to grow amplifying its pain levels until one night I just had to bail from the city and its electrical, human, physical stresses.
In Ventura I collapsed into a pancake on my futon and had to just ride it out for weeks. I had spent all my strength funded by Hawaii, the colon cleansing, the Oregon rain, Protandim and the Trinfinity8. Back to Flat!
It really took me two months to recover enough strength to do more than one thing in a day without several naps or reboots. Some days didn’t have more than an hour of vertical. Some days I couldn’t even roll over because of the pain, which wasn’t all in my breast but now in my spine, sternum and hips. These additional pain emergencies were a stress in themselves because of the potential implications. Eating well was at the least difficult.
Then my job ended.
Ok, so, now, I also have to deal, again, with homelessness.
Now – I’ve chosen to not have a house or other square box to live in many times and for much of the last 8 years but this time it seemed daunting to me and posed a luminous threat to my wellbeing. I didn’t feel like I was physically, mentally, or emotionally strong enough for all that entails. Too much driving, too much “other people’s” energy, bad beds and couches with lots of extra energy to clear, no income, and friends scattered in many locations. I am definitely not sleeping in my car, ever again. Camping felt possible however in southern California that’s more expensive than rent so out of the question.
I stalled for as long as my deposit covered the rent plus 2 weeks, which I partially paid and then got the 3-day notice to vacate. The thought of having the legal system pointed at me is not my idea of fun so I moved in 3 days.
At about this same time Grand Master Zhou came to Ojai and so did I. I’ve been taking his classes and getting treatments from him. By grace and the donations from my close friends it has been possible for me to work with him for 6 weeks.
The breast lump has diminished in height even though it is still spreading horizontally. My physical strength has increased immensely! I’m showing off my biceps just like a 4 year old and I could now run up a hill if the tsunami was coming my way. Silly as it may sound, I was actually feeling like I was going to cause someone else physical harm because of my weakness.
The QiGong classes have been arduous and just enough of a push to get somewhere. The Tai Chi was one of the most difficult things I have personally done because of having my inner self completely rewired for the third dimension. I also had the experience of unlearning some deep thing that my previous teachers had helped me with whose time was complete. Tai Chi Sword was a challenge and yet awakened deep memories and satisfactions in my being.
The treatments from Master Zhou are profound. Deep inner core healing is initiated and I feel it moving out toward the surface – very slowly but surely healing me on the way.